Conversations on Pregnancy and Infant Loss: Fox’s Story
A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 3
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.
Rae Hoffman Jager is a poet and writer, yoga teacher, former doula, and currently, in nursing school. I first met Rae on Twitter, actually, it was this tweet, the one about birthing a dead baby, which came across my Twitter feed, and made me stop in my tracks. Rae and I break down the tweet - her word choice, how it supported her, and the backlash, and why she even Tweeted during the delivery of her son in the first place.
Rae’s son Fox was stillborn on Thanksgiving Day, 2021. Rae walks us through the journey of finding out he had passed during a routine visit, and what laboring and delivering a dead baby was like. Rae discusses how her Judaism was intertwined with the moment she met her son, and what it’s really like to hold your dead baby. We talked about the support she received in the days after, what pregnancy after loss is like, and how she and her family connect and spend time with Fox today.
Rae is honest, brave, raw, and fiercely determined to move through life while honoring Fox’s life every step of the way. His death was the impetus for a major career shift, and we’re so proud of her determination.
You can read some of Rae’s work here:
Sitting Shiva, Atticus Review, August 2022
There Was No Jewish Way to Mourn Stillbirth — So We Created Our Own, Kveller, May 2022
Pregnancy Loss Taught Me This Important Jewish Value, Kveller, July 2022
Three Poems, Contrary Magazine
Rae, thank you for sharing Fox with us all. We will remember him always.