10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays as a Single Parent
Navigating life as a single-parent can sometimes be a wild ride, and this is especially true during the holiday season! Our co-founder Olivia spoke to Yahoo Lifestyle about her first holiday season as s single mom, and we thought it would be helpful to round up some tips for surviving the holidays as a single parent. If you’re a newly single parent, or considering a divorce, check out the Fresh Starts Resource Guide’s divorce coaches. Don’t forget to check out our list of empowering children’s books for divorced families.
10 tips for surviving and thriving the holiday season as a single parent:
If this is your first holiday without your kids, plan in advance to spend time with family and/or friends whether that looks like a dinner out, a movie in, or attending a festive holiday show or event nearby. Staying social with people you are comfortable with can help distract you from focusing on the absence of your children all the while serving up some fun and great memories. - Meghan Kelly, Now Free and Found
Even if you are not on the best of terms, try to maintain the holiday spirit with your ex. Put any bitterness and resentment aside. You want to enjoy this time of year without that heavy weight on you. If you have children, honor the terms that were set forth in your divorce agreement concerning parenting times during the holidays. Make sure you and your ex communicate clearly about plans. - Jenine Marie Powell, SOS Divorce Coaching
Have candid, age-appropriate conversations with kids about how things will look this holiday season after the divorce. This may include talks about expectations for gifts if your financial situation looks different or feelings that may arise knowing the other parent isn't joining in the celebration. For younger kids, it can be great to get them to draw their feelings or create cards for the parent they are not with. For older kids, journaling can be really helpful. Age-appropriate conversations are key so if you have doubts consult a child therapist. - Meghan Kelly, Now Free and Found
Get rest. You don't need to overdo it to make anything up to your kids. Do you know what kids want more than anything on Christmas morning? Your attention and smiles. - Olivia Dreizen Howell, co-founder Fresh Starts Registry
You may also want to discuss gift giving in advance to make sure your kids don’t receive duplicate gifts. And remember, gift giving is not a competition between you and your ex. The most valuable gifts— gifts of time, attention and love—are heartfelt and free. If you will be without your kids, don’t sabotage their time with their other parent. Work together to ensure your children have a joyous holiday. - Jenine Marie Powell, SOS Divorce Coaching
If the other parent is in the picture, take your child/children to shop for a holiday gift for that other parent. It's a nice gesture and shows that you support your child's/children's relationship with the other parent. - Meghan Kelly, Now Free and Found
Be gentle with yourself. Holidays can be triggering! It's OKAY to start new traditions - and make them traditions YOU are excited, as the parent, to uphold! As a creative person, I loved painting ornaments with my kids and baking cookies, but maybe for others it's a Christmas morning feast or New Year's Day hike - make the traditions work for your family. - Olivia Dreizen Howell, co-founder Fresh Starts Registry
The holidays are such a hectic time, especially when you no longer have a partner to rely on for help. You can avoid some of the chaos by having a good plan in place. Don’t wait for the last minute to figure out all the details. If you are hosting, keep a daily calendar and schedule what has to get done by when. Assigning a deadline and time slot for each chore makes things so much more manageable and will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed. Sticking to the plan will also help you maintain your sanity. - Jenine Marie Powell, SOS Divorce Coaching
If you child/children will not see certain extended family members during the holidays because of the timeshare arrangement, encourage your child/children to make cards or call/FaceTime those family members so they can connect and share in the holiday as best as possible. - Meghan Kelly, Now Free and Found
Holidays stir up all sorts of emotions and expectations. Allow yourself time to adjust to your new life circumstances. If you aren’t feeling very festive this year, that’s ok. Know your limits and set boundaries accordingly. It’s ok to turn down invites. It’s ok to say you’re not up for hosting. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok if you don’t get holiday cards out. It’s ok if you’re feeling blah. It’s ok to say no to family and friends. If you are having a case of the holiday blues this year, just remember there’s always next year and there will be plenty to celebrate in the future. - Jenine Marie Powell, SOS Divorce Coaching