How to Help: 5 Useful Things To Say
Raise your hand if you’ve had to suffer through some frustratingly NOT USEFUL things well meaning folks have said to you during your fresh start. Everyone got their hand raised? Check out below for 5 things which actually helped me when I was going through my Fresh Start.
“I’d be happy to handle your change of address for you!” When we tell you that moving on is an unrelenting mess of paperwork, we aren’t kidding. Having someone take over a piece of the bureaucratic, clerical paperwork bull crap is always a very, very welcome gesture!
“I am really good at breaking down boxes.” My friend Josie offered to come break down boxes for me. There is no sweeter offer than this. The deluge of cardboard when setting up a new home is something of biblical proportions. I am not lying when I said I hid half the recycling from the garbage men, I was worried they wouldn’t take it all! This uber practical offer was not lost on me— something as simple as breaking down boxes was completely overwhelming. It’s a solid offer with a measurable outcome.
“I am proud of you.” I will never tire of these words. I could weep typing them. When we move on, move out, move over- whatever, we all doubt ourselves, our choices— every road we’ve ever walked. So to hear the people you love and respect tell you they not only support you but also are proud of you, us Freshies need that bolstering.
“You can talk about it or not talk about it as much as you want.” After my break up I started feeling like it was the “me, me, me” show all the damn time. Friends would call to check in and I’d say “oh, I am good. ANYWAY HOW ARE YOU?” And they would all pause and say “My life isn’t interesting right now, you’re the one with stuff going on. How are you, really?” And I will always love that grace. My mind was constantly swimming with new revelations and new things I had to do. I needed to talk. Someday it will be my time to listen and I will let them talk, talk, talk.
“Did you eat?” Between the emotional crash and the rush of things to do I forgot to eat sometimes. The gentle reminder was never lost on me. It’s a very sweet and caring way of looking after someone and making sure they’re taking the bare minimum care of themselves.