5 Fresh Tips to Help You Manage Parental Power Struggles and Create a More Joyful and Harmonious Home Life with Parenting Coach Jamie Buzzelle
Learning how to create a harmonious home life as a parent can be overwhelming, but you’re not alone! Check out these 5 Fresh Tips to help you manage parental power struggles and create a more joyful and harmonious home life with parenting coach Jamie Buzzelle.
I am a parenting coach who helps parents find their confidence to be empowered, aware, and more informed. I will help you eliminate power struggles, yelling, and common coercive tactics to gain compliance (threats, bribes, etc.) and help you increase connection and cooperation with your child. My coaching approach is a mix of compassion and understanding, along with the latest in evidence-bases research in brain science and attachment, along with a little bit of humor. I believe that loving our children is the easiest, most natural thing in the world, but parenting the way kids need isn't always as easy and every parent deserves support and guidance on their journey.
You can learn more about Jamie Buzzelle on her Fresh Starts profile.
5 Fresh Tips to help you create a harmonious home life:
It's not personal, it's developmental. So many common behaviors we see in our kids are a result of their developmental stage, and are not in fact, personal. As parents, we tend to see challenging behaviors as a failure in our parenting, which interferes with our ability to respond to our kids because we are too busy being caught up in the fears around what we might have done that caused our kids to behave this way. Understanding what is developmentally appropriate can help you stop taking your child's behavior personally so you can begin the task of teaching them the skills they are lacking.
Children who push back on your rules are exhibiting healthy behaviors. Yes, it's true! While most of us were raised to be seen and not heard, we also weren't taught a lot of critical thinking skills because of that. As children learn and take in the world around them, it's natural that they will have questions and want to understand the "why." This is also good practice for when they get older as being able to push back with parents can teach negotiation skills, healthy communication habits, boundaries, collaboration, and cooperation and help them practice speaking to people in powerful positions when they need to in a respectful way.
All behavior is communication. Our society is set up in a punishment/reward system. You do something "right" and you are rewarded; you do something "wrong" and you are punished. What this fails to understand and what is arguably the most critical piece of understanding human behavior is that all behavior is a form of communication of an unmet need or feeling. If you can get to the underlying cause of the behavior and address that, the surface behavior will naturally dissipate.
Children are not seeking your attention; they are seeking connection. Children are wired for attachment to their parents through biology. They need to be with their parents and naturally seek out connection through any means necessary. A child who needs more connection will seek it out in any way they can and do not make a distinction between "positive" or "negative" connection, all they recognize is the connection. If you spend undivided time every day with your child truly connecting (no devices, no distractions) for even 10-15 minutes in their world you'll notice a decrease in challenging behaviors.
There are no bad kids. There are no bad kids. There are no bad kids. There are only kids with missing skills, kids who need more connection and support, and kids who need more patience and understanding. Behaviors are not an indication of "good" or "bad" they simply "are."