Empathy and Curiosity in Understanding Voter Intimidation

Something we encounter often in the replies of our tweets about voter intimidation happening on an intimate level is: “My husband isn’t like that.” Or “My friends tell their husbands who they vote for.” Or “If I didn’t feel safe telling my husband who I was voting for, I’d leave.” And that always baffles me.

I have lived a life of privilege. I went from one private school to the next, my parents always offered me a place wherever they were. I’ve always felt safe in my relationships. I’ve always been able to pay my rent, insurance, take myself out for a treat. I also understand that that isn’t everyone’s experience. 

When we vote we have to take the greater population into consideration, not just for OUR betterment. We don’t just vote so OUR tax burden is lessened. We vote as part of a society. And as part of a civilized society we have to consider other people, that their lives are maybe nothing like ours, or maybe something like ours — most likely somewhere in between those two. We have to consider that other people have experiences that form them and will make decisions we can’t immediately understand. We have to look at people with empathy and curiosity.

My husband is not “like that,” and we openly discuss politics (though sadly he can’t vote in the 2024 election due to not being a citizen or resident of the US) — but that has nothing to do with anyone else’s experience of voting. I cannot project the facts of my marriage on anyone else’s experience.

There are resources and educational materials out there that may not apply to you. That’s okay. That doesn’t make them untrue or useless. They’re just not for you.  If your instinct is to denigrate the resource, story or information because that’s not your experience I challenge you to get empathetic and curious. You might learn something.