5 Ways to Support Those Affected by Wildfires: A Therapist's Perspective
by Abbey Sangmeister founder of Evolving Whole, Professional and Parental Burnout Coach
The LA Wildfires are devastating! Whole communities are gone leaving those and their loved ones without a foundation. These overwhelming and traumatic events. Those of us who have not been personally impacted have a responsibility to offer support and compassion to those in LA. Here's a guide from a therapist's perspective on how to effectively support wildfire survivors:
5 Ways to Help People Impacted by Fire
Use Active Listening that is empathetic, non-judgemental and offers validation.
Listen without interruption and allow for silent pauses. Holding space is just as important as listening and speaking. Reflect back what you hear the person saying to make sure you are understanding clearly what they are saying.
Ask do you want me to listen or give advice?
Be present and offer a space place for them to express emotions no matter what they are. They may feel a wide range of emotions such as disconnected, scared, anxious, grief, anger, despair.
As the listener and supporter, take care of yourself too before the conversation so that you can show up for others.
Offer Practical Support and Assistance
Offer assistance like donating essential items such as food, clothing and hygiene products. Don’t forget that many of these families have pets too. So include them in your donation list.
Help find temporary and even permanent housing arrangements.
Offer to be there for or to help navigate insurance claims and working through the bureaucratic process. Reminder to focus on facts here. There will be many stories in social media about what is “not” or “negative”. Keep the focus on solutions and problem solving.
Connect them with relevant resources like disaster relief organizations, mental health professionals, and financial aid programs.
Connect them with therapists or coaches that specialize in the work of grief and trauma.
Encourage Basic Self-Care
Often we think self-care is all the fancy stuff like massages, travel, dinner out but the foundations of daily life is also self care. Helping others focus on these and support them can maange stress and support emotional regulation. Again, ask permission about giving advice and how they would like to be reminded or supported with the following.
Gently encourage healthy habits like sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet.
Suggest stress-reducing techniques like tapping, deep breathing, breathwork, mindfulness.
Give them permission to take a break from it all to go for walk, workout or get some type of movement in.
Remind them that self-care is the foundation to a healing journey, even amidst the chaos.
Journaling is another great source of self-care and an outlet.
Gift them a journal or online stress reducing class. Send them nutritious foods but don’t forget the snacks and chocolate because everyone deserves that balance too.
Validate Their Experiences with Compassion
Normalize their feelings through compassion, belief.
Instead of telling them how you think they “should” feel or how others in their postion feel, acknowledge and validate their emotions.
You may not fully understand the extent of their loss.
Do not compare your past loses to theirs as this takes away from their experience. This also redirects the attention from them to you and your feelings.
Let them know that their feelings are valid and that it's okay to not be okay.
Avoid minimizing their experiences or dismissing their emotions with phrases like "at least you're alive."
Maintain Boundaries to prevent Vicarious Trauma and to Nourish Relationships
While offering support, it's essential to maintain healthy boundaries for yourself. Remember that you cannot solve their problems for them. By taking care of your own well-being you will prevent avoid burnout for yourself and the relationship.
Vicarious Trauma is Real. More about that and strategies to prevent and heal in this BLOG.
5 Things NOT to Say or Do When Someone is Experiencing Traumatic Loss, Grief or in Crisis
"Just get over it"
If your words feel or sound dismissive, minimizing or invalidating, keep them to yourself.
Avoid minimizing their pain or suggesting they should move on quickly. There is no right time frame to process or move through the aftermath of a fire.
Remember rebuilding lives after a wildfire takes time. The loss is a deeply personal and complex process.
"I know how you feel"
These words discount their experience even if you have experienced other losses or something similar.
Reminder: Everyone experiences trauma differently and on a different time frame.
Focus on understanding and validating their unique experience versus comparing.
Offering unsolicited advice
Ask: “Do you want me to listen or do you want advice?” Do this before giving any advice or even sending IG posts. By asking, it allows them the space to open up and get their needs met.
For some, allowing them to find their own solutions and coping mechanisms is empowering while others will want more support.
Focusing on the "positive"
Avoid pressuring them to focus on the positive or look on the bright side. Allow them to process their grief and anger without judgment.
Making it about yourself
Avoid turning the conversation into something about your own experiences. Focus on their needs and emotions.
Remember: Supporting wildfire survivors requires patience, empathy, and a genuine desire to help. By following these guidelines, you can offer meaningful support and contribute to their recovery.
If you or someone you know is struggling to cope with the aftermath of a wildfire, please reach out to a mental health professional or a disaster relief organization. Some helpful resources include:
Reconnecting with family and loved ones – Call (800) 675-5799 or visit: Finding Friends & Family
Help With Locating Pets In Evacuation Areas – Call (213) 270-8155, you will be prompted through a series of questions about your pet, its possible location, and needs. Please listen carefully and give all the information needed. LA Animal Services and LAPD officers stationed at the Command Post will be dispatched to the evacuation area to search for your pet or provide needed care. You will be notified once a rescue officer has visited the property.
Reuniting With Lost Pets - If you found a pet or if you lost a pet, please enter the information and a photo into the PetCo Love Lost System.
If you lost your job due to the fires, apply for benefits through the State of California.
The Federal Small Business Administration can provide resources and assistance for businesses of all sizes, nonprofits, homeowners, and renters impacted by the fires.
Disaster Distress Helpline - (800) 985-5990 – National hotline dedicated to providing year-round disaster crisis counseling. This toll-free, multilingual, crisis support service is available 24/7 to all residents in the U.S. and its territories who are experiencing emotional distress related to natural or human-caused disasters.
988 Suicide Crisis Lifeline provides support by call, chat, and text - Dial 988
If you are looking for more support, I encourage you to reach out for a free consultation. I am here to support you or your loved one.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical or psychological advice.
This blogpost was originally posted here!
Learn more about and how to work with Abbey Sangmeister here!
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.