What to Consider if You’re Considering Filing a DIY Divorce
Divorce is never easy — and when you’re thinking about handling it yourself, it can feel even more overwhelming. Maybe you’re trying to save money, avoid a messy courtroom battle, or just keep things as simple as possible. Whatever your reason, a DIY divorce can be a smart option for the right situations — but it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. Before you dive into paperwork and court forms, it’s important to understand what’s involved, where you might need extra support, and how to protect yourself emotionally, legally, and financially along the way.
Let’s break down what you need to consider before you take the DIY route.
DIY Divorce Guide: Is Self-Filing Right for You?
What is a DIY Divorce?
DIY divorce—also called self-filing—means you complete and file your own divorce paperwork without hiring an attorney. You’ll typically handle the entire process through your local family court by downloading or picking up the necessary forms and submitting them directly.
Who Should Consider DIY Divorce?
Self-filing is best suited for people who:
Agree on major issues (custody, property division, support)
Have limited shared assets and no significant debt to divide
Are not in a high-conflict dynamic with their ex
Are able and willing to read instructions carefully and complete court paperwork
Don’t feel emotionally or legally overwhelmed navigating the court system
It’s a great option for:
Couples without children
Individuals in short-term marriages
Stay-at-home parents or low-income earners looking to minimize costs (with support!)
Pros of Self-Filing for Divorce
Cost Savings: Attorneys can cost thousands; self-filing is often free or very low-cost (filing fees may apply).
Privacy: You control your paperwork and don’t have to share your personal story with a third party.
Empowerment: For some, handling their own divorce is a way to reclaim autonomy and confidence.
Speed: In uncontested cases, the process can often move faster without back-and-forth legal delays.
Cons and Risks of DIY Divorce
Complexity: If there are pensions, real estate, custody arrangements, or complicated financials involved, you could make costly mistakes.
Emotional Stress: Handling everything yourself while going through grief, stress, or anxiety can feel overwhelming.
Lack of Legal Protection: Without legal guidance, you might sign something unfair or miss out on what you’re entitled to.
Court Rejection: Incorrectly completed paperwork may be rejected, causing delays and frustration.
Who Should Not Consider DIY Divorce?
You have a history of abuse, power imbalance, or coercion in the relationship
There’s significant conflict or lack of cooperation between you and your ex
Your divorce involves complex financial assets, immigration concerns, or business ownership
One party has already hired a lawyer or filed first with terms you don’t agree with
You're unsure of your legal rights and protections, especially regarding custody or alimony
Some Considerations to Make Before Filing a DIY Divorce:
Get Organized First: Before filing, gather all relevant documentation, including:
Marriage certificate
Proof of income for both spouses
Tax returns (last 2–3 years)
Asset and debt information (mortgages, bank accounts, credit cards, retirement accounts)
Custody agreements or parenting schedules (if applicable)
Prenups or postnups (if they exist)
Pro Tip: Create a shared folder (physical or digital) where everything is easily accessible.
Know Your State's Specific Laws and Filing Process: Every state (and sometimes county) has its own requirements for:
Residency (you often have to live in the state for a certain amount of time)
Waiting periods before the divorce is finalized
Child support formulas
Property division rules (community property vs equitable distribution)
Don’t assume what works in one state works in yours—check your local family court website or clerk's office.
Budget for Filing Fees and Other Costs: Even if you’re doing it yourself, there are costs to consider:
Filing fees (usually $100–$500 depending on your state)
Fees for serving papers
Notary fees (some documents must be notarized)
Optional fees: parenting classes, court-certified mediators, certified copies
If you can’t afford these, many courts offer a fee waiver based on income—ask the court clerk how to apply. Learn more about that here!
Don’t Skip Mediation if Needed: Just because you’re self-filing doesn’t mean you can’t get help resolving issues. Mediation is:
Often cheaper than hiring lawyers
Less adversarial than court
Useful if you and your ex need help agreeing on terms like custody or asset division
Some states even require mediation for custody issues before finalizing the divorce
Think Through Custody and Co-Parenting Details: If kids are involved, the parenting plan is crucial—it must be detailed and realistic and include:
A regular schedule (including holidays and school breaks)
Transportation logistics
Communication expectations
How decisions will be made (education, healthcare, etc.)
Judges appreciate clarity and cooperation—and so do kids.
Be Honest With Yourself About the Emotional Toll: Divorce is not just legal—it’s deeply emotional. Self-filing can:
Feel empowering, but also lonely
Leave you vulnerable if your ex turns adversarial mid-way
Require you to advocate for yourself when you may be exhausted or overwhelmed
Make space for therapy, support groups, or coaching. It’s okay to pause and ask for help even if you started DIY. Learn more here!
Protect Your Privacy and Security: Make sure to:
Update passwords and secure shared digital accounts
Open your own bank account (if you haven’t already)
Remove your ex’s name from shared bills, insurance, or lease agreements
It’s part legal, part logistical, and all essential.
Understand What “Finalizing” Really Means: Once your divorce is approved:
You’ll receive a Judgment of Divorce (or similar court order)
Some responsibilities might extend beyond the court ruling, like retitling property, closing accounts, or enforcing the parenting plan
Keep copies of everything, and stay on top of post-divorce to-do items.
You are absolutely capable of self-filing if it’s the right fit—and it can be a powerful way to take back your life on your own terms. But the most successful DIY divorces are the ones supported by organization, clarity, and outside resources when needed.
Remember: *"Do it yourself" doesn’t mean do it alone."