5 Fresh Tips to help you cope with being a female who either has diagnosed ADHD, or suspects that she may have ADHD with Licensed Professional Counselor Laura Gattuso

Learning how to cope with being a female who either has diagnosed ADHD, or suspects that she may have ADHD can be overwhelming, but you’re not alone! Check out these 5 Fresh Tips to help you cope with being a female who either has diagnosed ADHD, or suspects that she may have ADHD with Licensed Professional Counselor Laura Gattuso.

Human First Counseling Services is a quickly growing psychotherapy practice located in Andover NJ. We provide therapeutic services to adults, children, adolescence, families, and couples seeking to wellness in their lives Our team of licensed therapists have extensive background and training and approach mental health with compassion, empathy, and individuality to the needs of their clients. It is our fundamental belief that every individual’s journey is unique and all are deserving of living a life of worth and fulfillment. Is it therefore our mission, to provide quality mental health services that recognizes each individual human experience first and support you in finding yourself.

You can learn more about Laura Gattuso on her Fresh Starts profile.

5 Fresh Tips to help you cope with being a female considering if you have ADHD:

1. Trust your instincts: If you feel like something is off, listen to your inner voice. I always sensed there was more to my mental health story. Though I couldn’t pinpoint it and didn’t have solid proof, I knew in my gut that something wasn’t adding up. Don’t wait until you have all the answers—advocate for yourself early on, even if you’re unsure of the specifics.

2. Do your own research: ADHD is underrepresented and misunderstood in women. Many girls' symptoms don’t become noticeable until puberty, and girls often mask these signs better than boys. Women with ADHD frequently present as inattentive or internally hyperactive, rather than the typical "hyperactive" profile seen in boys, and are often misdiagnosed with depression or anxiety due to symptom overlap. The lesser-known inattentive symptoms of ADHD include making careless mistakes, losing things, avoiding unpleasant tasks, struggling with organization, or feeling overwhelmed by relationships. Many women with ADHD may also experience rejection sensitivity, impulsivity, sensory issues, and even co-morbid conditions like PMDD, eating disorders, bipolar disorder, or addiction. When I learned about these aspects of ADHD in women, it struck me how I had never thought to tell my psychiatrist that I always lost my keys or bumped into things—I just thought I was spacey or "ditzy." I was also embarrassed to share how disorganized or messy I felt. 

3. Let go of Shame: In How to Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis, she says, “Laundry is not a moral issue,” and that statement changed my life. We can’t ignore the reality of gender roles and expectations in our world. As a woman who struggles with organization, doesn’t always get the laundry done, and tends to be messy, I carried deep shame. I often felt like less of a woman because of it, with a constant voice in my head telling me something was wrong with me for not being able to figure these things out. It didn’t matter that I earned a master’s degree, became a successful therapist, and started my private practice—those achievements didn’t align with society’s gendered expectations. Many people told me I cared too much about work and not enough about laundry, cleaning, or cooking. But I am here to tell you, as KC Davis said: laundry is not a moral issue. You are not a better or worse person based on whether you get your laundry done. Whatever your ADHD struggle is, it has nothing to do with your morality.

4. Get Professional Help—Whatever That Looks Like: Find a provider who is knowledgeable about ADHD. If they aren’t, or if you feel invalidated, don’t hesitate to find someone else. Fortunately, there is more information now about ADHD in women, but you may still encounter people who might dismiss your concerns. Remember: you are the expert on *you*, not them. I’m not saying that every provider who disagrees with you is wrong, but you should ask questions. A knowledgeable provider will be able to explain the rationale behind their conclusions. Getting professional help doesn’t always mean medication. While medication can be helpful, it isn’t the be-all and end-all, and it’s not the right fit for everyone. There are stimulant and non-stimulant options available, and it’s important to discuss these with your provider. Be open to the idea that the first thing you try may not always work, and that’s okay.

5. Embrace and Celebrate your ADHD: While being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world can be challenging, and there are many struggles that come with it, there are also plenty of things to celebrate. As cheesy as it sounds, on the podcast ADHD for Smart Ass Women, Tracy Otsuka often asks, “What is your ADHD superpower?” And when I reflect on my own life, I realize that so many of the great things in my life can be attributed to my ADHD. For instance, I impulsively went to graduate school for counseling because I wasn’t happy with what I was doing. I opened a business, adopted a dog, and I’ve had countless amazing experiences because I didn’t overthink the risks of failure. People with ADHD tend to feel things deeply, which can lead to struggles with emotional regulation—but it also makes them incredibly empathetic. This trait has been a huge asset in my work as a therapist and has honestly made me a better human being. I’m creative, full of ideas, and quick-witted, and I owe a lot of that to my ADHD. I do wish I had known sooner, and I wish I had gotten help for it earlier, because so many things in my life made more sense after my diagnosis. But if you asked me whether I would give it back, I don’t think I would—because it has helped shape who I am. My goal is to use both my personal and professional experiences to help other women get diagnosed, talk about their ADHD openly and without shame, and learn not just how to live with it but how to embrace it.