Navigating Teen Relationships: Parent-Teen Relationships
Part 3 of 4
by Lorraine Connell founder of Peers not Fears, Teen Leadership Coach
Introduction
Oh boy, this is a challenge every parent faces. While I'm not a parent coach, I know a few amazing ones who have taught me a lot. Here is a link to a resource I created for some of my favorite ones! In this post, I’ll share information about my resources, lessons I've learned as a parent of teens, and insights from coaching teens. I've also listened to countless hours of podcasts from experts in the field.
The Problem with Teen Relationships with Parents
Our relationship with our teens is changing because so much of their lives are changing. Ironically, when they need us the most, they often pull away. It's crucial for them to know we are still there when they muster the courage to come to us. One of the hardest things is dealing with the hurt when they don’t reach out to us for help. I’ve found myself reacting in ways that reflect my own hurt, which is never the right answer. Remember, we all make mistakes, especially when we’re hurting.
How My Resources Can Help
Navigating Difficult Conversations and Conflict
Having spoken to hundreds of teens, I know they want to trust us and need to know we will be there when they make mistakes. As parents, it’s tempting to say, "I told you so," but hold back! Instead, listen to them, ask what they learned, and help them evaluate the situation and identify what they could have done differently. This approach helps them problem-solve and learn from their mistakes, preparing them for life outside the home.
Key Strategies for Building a Strong Relationship
Admit Your Own Mistakes
Demonstrate Humility: Show your children that mistakes happen and no one is immune. Admitting your own mistakes is a powerful way to demonstrate humility and integrity.
Model Accountability: Show them how to handle themselves when they make a mistake by owning up to your actions. If you hide or deny your mistakes, your teen will likely do the same, leading to worse outcomes when they get caught.
Learn to Listen
Active Listening: Often, we wait to respond rather than truly listening to our teens. This approach doesn’t work. Practice active listening, where you focus entirely on what your teen is saying without planning your response. When I started practicing it, the results were incredible.
Setting Boundaries and Being a Sounding Board
Balanced Rules: Set rules that provide a safe environment without being overly restrictive. Your role is to be a non-judgmental sounding board. When setting rules, ensure they are balanced so your teen doesn’t feel the need to rebel excessively. Remember, we are their lifeline.
Supportive Environment: The two best things you can do to show your teens that your relationship is solid are to admit your mistakes and listen actively. These behaviors demonstrate how to handle mistakes and create a supportive environment.
Join Our Info Session
Want to learn more? Access all our teen relationship resources here! Join our info session to gain insights and tools to strengthen your relationship with your teen. By participating, you will be better equipped to support your teen through the complexities of their relationships.
Conclusion
Navigating relationships with your teen can be challenging, but with the right strategies and support, you can build a strong, trusting relationship. Join our info session to learn more about how these resources can help you and your teen navigate difficult conversations and conflicts effectively.
Together, we can support our teens in navigating their relationships and becoming the leaders of tomorrow.
This blogpost was originally posted here!
Learn more about and how to work with Lorraine Connell here!
Please note that the blogpost above does not represent the thoughts or opinions of Fresh Start Registry and solely represents the original author’s perspective.